Armenia

We crossed from Georgia into Armenia aboard our minibus and the road wound through mountains of extraordinary beauty while we bounced around. We arrived in the spa town of Dilijan, which poets and guidebooks insisted upon calling picturesque. This may be true in certain districts but not ours which looked like a populated version of how I imagine Chernobyl in the Ukraine. Civilisation had passed through in haste and paint had entirely given up the struggle. We dined as a group for the first time and my pizza was acceptable. The national beer on the other hand was not.

The next morning we left our chilly Dilijan hotel and headed south. Our first stop was Dilijan town – known somewhat flatteringly as “Armenian Switzerland”. Our new guide, Rima, had joined us. We saw a small 19th century amphitheater called the Rotonda before exploring Old Dilijan on foot including some wooden buildings that reminded me of an old western town in the US.

Next up was Lake Sevan which is the largest body of water in the caucuses and the highest alpine lake in the region at 1900m. There are 28 rivers and streams feeding Lake Sevan but only one outlet river. The weather was cold, miserable and wet and before us was a steep climb up around 150 steps to see a monastery. I can honestly say it wasn’t worth the discomfort. Monasteries are typically built on mountains or hills to separate monks from worldly distractions and to get them closer to the heavens. Profound solitude was the aim, but that was before hordes of Fawaki turned up and started taking selfies. Other factors include – elevated positions function as good strongholds, the endurance required to reach the monastery can be considered devotion, mountains have often been regarded as sacred places, and of course they get a better mobile phone signal.

Our next destination on the way to Yerevan was the Amat River Gorge which is home to the Temple of Garni where one finds an ancient pagan temple perched nobly above a gorge, surviving earthquakes, empires, invasions, and centuries of human mismanagement, only to meet at last its greatest trial: tourism. The place swarmed with visitors climbing upon the stones with the determination of ants conquering a wedding cake. Every column was photographed from seventeen impossible angles. The temple was definitely a sight to behold however the gorge adjacent was even better.

From there we headed a few minutes down the road for a surprise visit to a local house. I’m not always sure about these mystery events but this one was a winner. There was a woman sitting on the floor making lavash bread in the traditional way – a cylindrical hole in the ground. We all tasted it with various accompanying ingredients – peppers, coriander, dill, cheese. I stuck to the cheese and made a sandwich.

Our final visitation of the day was the best but also the wettest. The Geghard Monastery which is partially carved into the rock was truly monastery like. The first one where I’d walked in and said, “Wow”. It was almost pitch black inside with only candles and a hole in the roof providing illumination. As we entered there were rumblings of thunder. When we exited the rain had arrived and this was serious sideways rain. Some of the group had made it back to the bus before the heavy stuff arrived. I was not one of them. I was soaked through with an hour before reaching our hotel in Yerevan.

The hotel in Yerevan was the Ani Central and probably the best lodging since the Ibis is Baku. These tours tend to do that. Best hotels at the beginning and end with the slightly curious ones in the middle. Radka had kindly swapped with me because I was in desperate need of a bathtub. This put me on the top floor with a large room with a terrible view over the tragic rooftops of this part of town. But there was a bonus. I could see Mount Ararat in the distance.

Mount Ararat (where Noah parked his boat) has special significance for Armenians even though it is now located in Turkey some 30 miles away. It’s been this way since 1920 when Kemal Ataturk went to war with Armenia. The snow-capped peak is 16,854 ft high (5,137m) and can be seen from a number of places in Yerevan.

Anyway, back to the hotel. There was an ironing board and iron located on each floor by the elevator. What a great idea. Instead of putting them in every room where you have to manhandle it out of a cupboard and erect it, then unravel the electric cord, and find somewhere to plug it in, they have it all set up for you. Very thoughtful despite being a little aesthetically unpleasant.

I was nursing a cold so I stayed in my room and watched Arsenal (in Armenian), whilst drinking beer.

I ducked out of the group activities the following day. I needed rest, more monasteries were on the agenda, and it looked like a long day in the bus. I stepped out for a few hours midday and walked to Republic Square which is the centrepiece of the city. Massive official looking buildings on all sides.

From there I walked to English Park which wasn’t impressive before heading to the famous flea market called Varnissage. There was the normal market stuff for sale with one interesting addition – chess sets. Since 2011 chess has been a mandatory subject in schools for kids aged 6-9. The only country to include chess in the curriculum.

I was close to another square – this one called Charles Aznavour Square and I had to go. It was more of a semi-circle than a square and there was a statue of Charlie boy. Charles’s parents were Armenian immigrants and his support for the country, particularly after the earthquake of 1988, gave him national hero status.

On the return journey to the hotel I popped into a church. Saint Gregory the Illuminator Cathedral rises over Yerevan looking like something out of Minecraft. It is vast, pale, and solemnly determined to impress, though one suspects the Almighty has little need for architecture resembling a government conference hall. The building has the peculiar talent of appearing both brand new and anciently tired at the same time, as though it had been erected yesterday upon a disagreement between bureaucrats and undertakers. One enters expecting revelation and departs chiefly remembering the concrete. They say it was built to hold 1,700 worshippers, in honor of Armenia’s 1,700 years of Christianity — which is the sort of arithmetic that delights committees and leaves the rest of mankind defenseless.

Armenia was the first country to embrace Christianity as a national religion in the year 301 AD. The king at the time was Tiridates III and he condemned Gregory to be imprisoned in a pit in Khor Virap Monastery. He was there for 13 years and it was only when the king started having mental problems that Gregory was summoned. None of the pagan healing rituals were working. Gregory somehow managed to cure the king and Tiridates was so pleased that he declared Armenia Christian.

We took supper at the Ararat Restaurant, where five musicians labored heroically at their instruments while an intermittent singer wandered in and out of the proceedings and belted out a tune. The company appeared to regard the performance as music, though to my untutored ear it resembled a dispute occurring in a boiler factory. By a stroke of providence, we were seated immediately beside the spectacle, so that every note arrived fresh from the source and struck the senses with the intimacy of small artillery.

We lost two from the group the next morning who flew back to Sweden. I was next off with some hastily made plans switching from Moldova to Greece. I needed some sunshine and the flight times to Moldova had changed from unfortunate to wholly unacceptable.

I had a few hours before heading to the airport so I joined the others in the fun bus. There was general gridlock due to several road closures in preparation for Republic Day celebrations two days hence. May 28th in 1918 was when Armenia re-established independent status. It only lasted 2 years before the Russians made it part of the Soviet Union. Hardly worth celebrating really and as for the traffic it caused, I think they might need to rethink this in future. I concluded that this was a good day for Turkey to invade the western border and seize more land because their entire military vehicle divisions were in Yerevan causing mayhem.

The morning sights included the opera house and the underwhelming Blue Mosque. The highlight was the cascade complex which was visually striking and also a good workout with hundreds, possibly thousands of steps to the very top. The ascent was rewarded with some spectacular views of the city and Mount Ararat.

When I departed my hotel with the innocent ambition of reaching the airport, I discovered the streets had been thoughtfully barricaded with iron railings and guarded by policemen who wore the expression common to men entrusted with preventing movement of any kind. A military parade was advancing through the city with the speed of a tortoise, only to halt altogether outside my hotel. Abandoned by transportation options, I was obliged to march nearly a mile with my luggage before discovering a taxi. The driver, perceiving in me the helplessness of a stranded foreigner, charged five times the ordinary fare with such cheerful enthusiasm that one almost admired the artistry of the robbery. He blamed the traffic, the parade, and no doubt the decline of the Roman Empire, and after delivering me, drove away wearing the satisfied look of a man who had performed both transportation and banditry in a single afternoon.

I was there with plenty of time to spare and found the lounge replete with a glass wall where one could look down upon the “ordinary people” and observe how they navigated the departures area. Including this person.

The population of Armenia is 3 million and it’s the smallest of the caucuses. 90% of the people are Christian, and they speak a barbaric tongue called Armenian with an even more ridiculous alphabet. See the waiter’s name tag below. Military service is mandatory at 18 for 18 months. Armenia was part of the Soviet Union for 71 years before independence in 1991.

I just wanted to mention our guide, Radka, supplied by Penguin Travel (not many tour operators provide us with a guide). She was excellent. Less than half the age of our youngest group member, Bulgarian Radka was there to answer questions and was a splendid addition to the group. Also with a great sense of humour.

So, that’s in for the three main caucuses. One Muslim, two Christian. You have to pay to use public toilets. I think very often they are saving up to buy a seat. All three have stray dogs. Lots of them and not your average sized stray (whatever that means). Some of these were St Bernard sized strays. They all had a yellow disc on their ear Another common dog feature is that many of them were lying down, asleep. Sometimes a group of them lying all about. Almost looked dead. But none of them caused us any problems. Since leaving Malta I’ve been rained on every country. Tbilisi was my favourite caucus capital if I had to return to any of them.

My two days on the beach in Thessaloniki were restful. I was staying at the five star Eona Beach Resort and I struggled to see how they got the fifth star. There was no restaurant or bar open in the evening, the pool didn’t open until 10:30, pool towels were charged at 1 euro each and my bath tub was plugless. Still, the location was excellent and it was quiet aside from a loud Russian family with six teenagers. And it was sunny.

Looking forward to going home and spending the summer in the UK.