Bratislava

As the train pulled into the main station in Bratislava my first thought was, “what a shit hole”. I’d been spoilt by Valletta and Budapest and wasn’t prepared for a city that would make Croydon look salubrious. The station was one of the most hideous I’d ever seen, and according to the weather app it “felt like” 6 degrees Fahrenheit.

Collins from Nigeria drove me to the hotel and insisted on doing his Geordie accent once he found out I was British. The Crown Plaza looked ghastly from the outside but things improved once inside. I was confused by the staff who were friendly and smiley in a city where you might expect there to be an epidemic of depression. Richard was excellent and provided a map with the city’s highlights. After dumping the bags I headed to one of his recommendations – the Blue Church. Well, it was blue and it was a church but if this was a highlight it was going to be a long couple of days.

I traipsed around some more and found the Old Town. They rarely disappoint and this was no exception. I’d found something redeeming in Bratislava.

Known as the Velvet Divorce, Slovakia and the Czech Republic separated on January 1st 1993 some three years after the end of communist rule. Prague was the capital of Czechoslovakia therefore Bratislava had never been a capital before 1993. Perhaps I should be more lenient and blame communist architects. Even the internet disagrees with me and rates Bratislava as “charming”. Have they seen the Blue Church? Really?

On Wednesday I waited a few hours for it to warm up before venturing outside. Blue skies had arrived but it was still mighty chilly. There was some kind of car rally going on but no one seemed to know anything about it.

Further on I found St Martin’s church in the Old Town and was suitably impressed. Not Budapest impressed but it was Slovakia after all.

I then headed for the UFO observation deck on the other side of the SNP Bridge. The elevator was on an incline and took me up 95m to a platform with 360 degree views of the city. 180 degrees would have been enough as there wasn’t much one side.

I shared the elevator with a couple from England who were on a day trip from Vienna. They were probably a little older than me and were in Vienna for Eurovision. They’d been to the finals six times and were part of a “fan club”. I know. Who knew there was a fan club. Apparently this didn’t guarantee tickets for the televised final which were costing 500 quid. I pumped them for information whilst simultaneously thinking they were bonkers. They looked like they might be Morris Dancers. Some good views of the castle and the river.

I walked back over the bridge heading for Bratislava Castle. Castles are typically built on top of hills and this one was quite a challenge. The interior was quite disappointing but the gardens outside were very pleasant, and there was a good view of the UFO tower.

I had a spot of lunch in the Old Town, sitting in the sunshine, before returning to the hotel for some admin. That’s my excuse. In the evening I ventured back to the Old Town to the Dubliner Irish bar which was excellent. All Irish bars should be modelled on this one.

Bratislava grew on me but only because of the Old Town. I don’t need to hurry back. Whilst Hungary was communist for 40 years, what was then Czechoslovakia tolerated communism from 1948 to 1989 (41 years). After the second world war relations between the Soviet Union (Stalin) and the West deteriorated quickly and the Soviets wanted a buffer between them and the west. Exerting control over Eastern European countries became that buffer. This was effectively the start of the Cold War and even though these countries were separate from the Soviet Union they were heavily influenced by Soviet-rule and ideology. It’s actually not that different from the west wanting countries to embrace democracy. Basically we feel safer and more harmonious when we think along similar lines to other nations. The war in Vietnam wasn’t simply about Vietnam being a communist country, which it still is, but because the US feared a domino effect with other Southeast Asian countries as far as India. Different ideologies cause a lot of problems. Anyway, I blame Lenin.

I left on Thursday morning by boat. There were other options by train or bus, but I chose the fast ferry down the Danube. Bratislava and Vienna are the two European capitals closest to each other only 34 miles apart in a straight line. We left on time and we travelled at speeds up to 75 kmh. Apologies for mixing imperial with metric. The journey took about 90 minutes and although it was overcast, at least it was dry. The highlight was passing Devin Castle pictured below. Next stop Vienna (full of Eurovision types)!